


Khuzrel Nakhshur (Rage and Sorrow)

by Eternal Scribe (Shadowcat)



Series: The Sons of Durin [2]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-27 01:39:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7598407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowcat/pseuds/Eternal%20Scribe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He heard Thorin, or was it Dwalin?, yelling his name behind him, but he couldn’t have stopped if he wanted to. There was a madness that he could feel overtaking him and he had no desire to fight his way free of it. There was a roaring sound that echoed around him and bounced off rocks and across the snow, but he didn’t slow down to try to identify it or make sense of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Khuzrel Nakhshur (Rage and Sorrow)

Kili had heard that in times of great stress, one could simply forget how to breathe or their heart could stop. He had never expected to experience such a reaction in something as important as a battle, but that is exactly what he could feel happening within him right now.

Right now because that was his _brother_ in the clutches of the pale orc. That was his brother that looked like he had been roughed up and was being dangled in front of them as Azog spouted a lot of words that Kili didn’t want to make sense out of. That was his brother who had always looked out for him and who needed his help, now.

_He should never have allowed Fili to tell him to stay behind. He should have insisted that he go with his brother to scout the top of the cliff. He should have been with him and then this never would have happened. Not to Fili._

Guilt was something that Kili hadn’t expected to have to feel during a war like they were in right now, but there it was. Logically, he knew that someone would tell him that he wasn’t to blame for Azog getting his hands on Fili, but those would be words that he could not hear right now. Right now, all he could focus on was the look on Fili’s face and how he was desperately trying not to look in Kili’s direction.

Trying not to let the orcs know where his brother was standing and watching all that was happening.

Kili wanted to will his brother to look at him, but he didn’t want to make a move that would endanger Fili even more than he was. He didn’t even have his bow so he couldn’t let arrows fly and free his brother from the peril he was now in.

He was doing the one thing he had always been terrified that he would one day do. _He was failing his brother._

His eyes refused to leave his brother’s face, which was why he noticed the change of emotion in Fili’s eyes as Azog shook him by the neck and uttered his threatening words.

No, oh Mahal, no.

_Fili,_ he begged silently. _Please, please don’t do anything reckless like I would. Please. I cannot --_

_”This one dies first. Then the brother. Then you, Oakenshield. You will die last!”_

Kili could read Fili’s face and he had a good idea what his older brother was thinking. He was hating the threats -- to both him and to Thorin -- and he was wondering where in Mahal’s balls was Gandalf or someone else that could stop what the pale orc was saying.

“No, Fee,” Kili whispered beneath his breath. “Don’t do i--”

“RUN!”

Fili’s yell hit Kili with the force of a blow and he knew that he had to do something. He had to get up there and save his --

The sword. Kili’s eyes widened and he tasted blood in his mouth from the lip he had been biting when Azog’s sword flashed behind his brother. He swore he could feel the blade stabbing into his own back as sure as it was sliding deep into his brother’s. In fact, the idea that he could feel it was so real that it caused him to stumble back for a moment.

On the wind he heard his name and couldn’t look away from his brother as his lips formed Fili’s name as he watched him slump in the grasp of his killer.

Then Fili was falling from so high in such a slow pace that for a moment Kili couldn’t believe his own eyes. That could not be his golden warrior brother that was falling through the air and not moving. That wasn’t his beloved and best brother slamming into the frozen ground just feet away from him.

That painful sound of rage and grief that was torn out of him couldn’t have really come from his own throat, could it have? Surely nothing had ever ripped through him like that sound was. He stared at the blue and fading eyes of his brother and then he was moving. Screaming his brother’s name as he started for the stairs.

“KILI!”

He heard Thorin, or was it Dwalin?, yelling his name behind him, but he couldn’t have stopped if he wanted to. There was a madness that he could feel overtaking him and he had no desire to fight his way free of it. There was a roaring sound that echoed around him and bounced off rocks and across the snow, but he didn’t slow down to try to identify it or make sense of it.

There was the sound of running and fighting behind him, but he ignored it, continuing to run and jump in his determination to get his hands on the monster that had ripped his brother away from him. He had foolishly thought that he could survive anything that happened this day, but he had been wrong.

He had been so so wrong. What use was saving Erebor if Fili wasn’t there to share it with him? What use was anything that they had done and gone through if he was to be parted from his brother?

He was barely conscious of grabbing a weapon and taking the head off the first orc that came at him and then he was lost in the frenzy of battle as he fought with everything he had to get through this monsters and get to the pale one that had _dared_ to take his brother from him.

A great clash of steel was heard from behind him and he knew that there was an even bigger battle going on, but he couldn’t turn back. Not now. He hoped that his uncle would forgive him for not returning to his side when he was called, but if he could not, then he would not. Fili had chosen to stay with him in Lake Town when he was close to death and he would not leave this battlefield without taking down those that had taken his brother.

Kili didn’t know how much time had past or what had happened, but suddenly he found himself crashing through stone and wood and then he was face to face not with Azog, but with an orc just as big and pale as he was. This had to be Bolg, then. This was the rumored spawn of the monster that had hunted his Uncle for so long.

If he couldn’t kill Azog right away, then he would rid the world of his cursed spawn. He would destroy him as his father had destroyed his brother.

The next few minutes -- or was it hours? -- seemed to pass by Kili in flashes of lights and pain and blood. Just when he thought that Bolg was going to end him, a blur of red and brown was there and he was almost struck dumb by the sight of Tauriel joining him in his fight.

_She came she came she came_

He hadn’t thought to see her again and yet she was here, aiding him and the look in her eyes as she helped him battle the orc was not one he would ever want visited on him.

They could do this. There was hope and he could avenge Fili and --

There was pain. There was quite a lot of pain and then he heard Tauriel hit the ground with a cry of her own. He... He couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t let Bolg steal Tauriel’s life. She was his One, even if she did not know it and he would not let someone like this orc steal her life away so easily.

Kili knew he was running out of energy and he hurt in so many places, not the least of which was his heart. He wanted to stay and be with Tauriel, but he needed to be with his brother. He could not let Fili wake up in the halls of their forefathers alone. 

He had to choose to either save Tauriel or to save himself.

He chose Tauriel.

He knew the moment that she realized what was about to happen because he heard her call his name and then there was nothing but the battle with Bolg to focus on. 

He knew when he swung his sword that it had gone badly. The blade seemed to bounce off of Bolg with a ferocity that caused it to be torn from Kili’s hand. He didn’t have the chance to figure out where it had went because that was when he was slammed through the air and down onto Bolg’s large leg. 

Bolg held him down by his neck and Kili saw the huge spike that was going to end his life coming toward him. There was nothing he could do and he turned his head to look at Tauriel with effort.

She was bleeding and she was crying and she was calling his name. Such sounds of pain shouldn’t have been coming from one so beautiful as the elf that had been given his heart.

“Amrâlimê.” He knew that she couldn’t hear him because his voice was only a whisper after everything, but he called out to her again, telling her as best as he could how much she meant to him. “Amrâlimê.”

He was held by her eyes as he felt the spike of steel come down and pierce his chest. He wanted to cry out in pain, but he had no more voice left. It had been stolen from him as he roared his way into battle after Fili fell.

He felt the tear slide down his face from his eye as he sorrowed over leaving Tauriel behind to finish this battle alone. He felt the tear burn its way down as he sorrowed over not being able to prevent what had happened to his brother. 

“Forgive me, Fili. Forgive me, nadadel.”

He couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer. The pain had taken control of him and as he closed his eyes, he could swear he felt a pair of familiar hands pulling him away from the place of sorrow and blood.

As he was being pulled away to Mahal’s realm, he hoped that his Uncle would remember just how much his nephews had loved and honored him.


End file.
